#but I wanted to get it out of my system first. I've been thinking about this a lot again after reading the guides and I got angry again

[wolfish-trickster]

In sickness

Astarion x female!reader/Tav

Word count: 3.9K

Summary: you wake up with an extremely high fever. As bad luck usually has it all companions have to leave the camp. All except the only undead one who has long forgotten what being sick feels like.

Warnings: angst to fluff, (child) SA and abuse, typos, possible bad grammar, i know jack shit about dnd (only have been obsessed with bg3 for two weeks) so some companions and over all logic might be ooc, enjoy :3

A/N: this is my first time writing for Astarion, I tried to be as accurate as possible from all the videos I've seen of him. Also I started writing this while having 39.9°C myself so reading it could feel like a fever dream 😅

"Karlach, can I hug you?" you mutter.

Everyone sitting around the campfire spits out their stew which Gale worked very hard on. All their eyes studied you as if you've already turned into a mindflayer.

"If you so desperately want to cuddle I volunteer," Astarion raises his hand.

Shadowheart yanks it down with a scowl. "As if she'd want to cuddle a bloodthirsty icicle."

"Unlike you my dear, my warm heart makes up for the cold body."

"What makes you think my heart isn't wamer than yours?"

"The clue is in your name, genius."

"As much as I'd love to, soldier," Karlach adressed you, completely ignoring the bickering of the two of them, "I'd hurt you and that's the last thing I want. But I appreciate it."

You didn't have the heart to tell her the truth after the sweet smile she showed you. But you had to. "I'm just," you hugged your shoulders even tighter, "I'm really cold Karlach. Maybe if you could, just a bit..."

"Warm you up?"

You nodded.

Gale studied your shivering frame. "Are you alright? You look a bit pale."

"Oh yeah, I'm fine," you dismissed him.

"Fine looks different," Shadowheart let Astarion's wrist be and walked up to you, cupping your cheeks, feeling your temperature. "You're hot."

"Wow, and water is wet," Astarion scoffed and took a sip of his wine.

Shadowheart glared. "I meant her body."

"Me too!"

"Her temperature, you fool. It's way too high," she turned back to you, eyes softer, "I know you're cold, but we can't warm you up. We need to pull your temperature down."

"No," you groaned. You felt like you were freezing. Cooling you down? Is she out of her mind?

"We have to! If your body warms up any more your organs could fail and we could lose you!"

Before you could protest she already started dragging you to her tent. Astarion creeping up behind you. "Excuse my intrusion but what kind of logic is that? Look at her! She's shivering and you want to freeze her even more?"

"A coldblooded guy like you won't understand," said Shadowheart as she forced you to lay down on her bedroll. "Humans have a certain body temperature at which all of their body functions work properly. If infection gets in the immune system rises the temperature in order to get rid of the virus or the parasite, since they can't survive high heat. Unfortunately neither can humans," she kept explaining as she searched for the correct vial in her bag. "If our temperature stays high for way too long some of our organs can fail which could lead to dire consequences."

"I know but please," you propped up yourself on your elbows, "all I need is couple of minutes. Then you can do whatever you want with me."

"Sorry," she said as she finally pulledout a small vial filled with icy blue liquid. "For how long have you had the fever?"

You shrugged. Around noon you noticed your face getting warmer but you guessed it must've been from the traveling under the sun with barely any shadow on your trail. Then as the sun kept getting lower and lower you still felt warm, even when the rest had to put on another layer of clothing to shield them from the soft wind. It was only an hour ago when your warmth left you, replacing it with freezing cold and shiver all over your body.

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter," Shadowheart gave you the vial. "Bottoms up."

You studied it. The liquid inside almost resembled water. Slightly colored but still. A big difference from dense potions she had in her arsenal. You opened it and drank it in one gulp. Coldness bloomed inside your chest and you wrapped yourself in whatever your hands reached.

Astarion crossed his arms. "Not that I doubt your healing abbilities but-"

"Then don't doubt them," Shadowheart smirked and pushed him out of her tent. "She needs rest now."

It only took minutes for your body to stop shivering. Your cheeks didn't feel like they were on fire anymore. Finally.

Your eyelids became too heavy for you to keep them open. Consciousness slowly slipped from you, but not before hearing faint voices of your companions.

"I should've taken her to her own tent though..."

"As if that makes any difference where she lays."

"But it does make a difference where I lay! Her tent is the only available now."

"Problem solved then."

"It's right next to yours."

".....well shit, Shadowheart."

☆

It was quiet. Awfully quiet. Not a good sign when it comes to your little group.

You attempted to stand up and go investigate but the entire world spinned beneath your feet. Yup, no walking for you today. Begrudgingly you layed down again, annayed at your weak body. Those times when you sprang up and fought goblins seemed like ages ago. Oh, how you took them for granted...

Shadowheart's tent opened. Even with closed eyes you could hear these footsteps weren't hers. They were soft, light, like a sneaking cat's. You opened your eyes. It took some time for them to adjust but even blurry you could make out curly white hair and pale face with two red eyes like two drops of blood on snow.

"What time is it?" You groaned.

"Almost noon," Astarion answered and sat down, cross-crossed right next to your flaming body. You couldn't take the heat anymore and threw the blankets as far away from you as you could, which was slightly past your feet.

"I take it you're not cold anymore?"

You shook your head. "Where is everyone."

"Shadowheart and Gale went to a nearby village to fetch some medicine for you. Karlach went with them to," he coughed a bit and imitated Karlach's voice, "protect them since our bravest soldier is fighting her own battles. In my opinion she just wants to check out the local tavern. It has been some time since we've come across a decent one. I swear the bigger the city the more their wine tastes like vinegar," he scrunched up his nose and you giggled.

"You could've went with them. Maybe you'd find a fine wine bar and restock. Or you were too worried about little ol' me?" You teased.

"Oh please, I'm not some drunkard who can't go a month without a fine bevarage. Even though their offer was tempting I selflessly volunteered to stay behind and look after you," he waved his hands around like a diva that he is. "So tell me darling, what ails you?"

You turned on your side, facing him, eyes closed. Just yesterday you would've given anything to feel warm, you'd even risk it and throw yourself into a bonfire. But now you wanted nothing more than to jump into a frozen lake instead. "I'm hot."

"I'm aware."

"Astarion," you moaned out his name to which he chuckled. Not the first time he heard his name fall from your lips like that.

"Alright, what am I supposed to do? All the instructions I got were "look after her" with no other details."

You sighed. "Just bring me a glass of water please."

It took some time but at last Astarion marched into Shadowheart's, now temporarily yours, tent. He found you eyes closed splayed out like a starfish on the slightly cooler ground, the warmth of the bedroll long forgotten. Astarion croched down and brushed his fingers over your sweaty forhead. It felt almost as if he touched a burning oven.

Shadowheart's words echoed in his mind. High temperature for way too long, failing organs, dire consequences. Damn it, for how much longer are they going to stay on their little field trip?

Your soft sigh pulled him out of his thoughts. Unknowingly he placed his full palm on your burning forhead which pulled out a soft content humm from you. What does Shadowheart call him? Cold blooded?

"Darling," he leaned in and whispered to disturb your short nap as little as possible, "I have an idea. I will attempt to cool you down with my body until your medicine comes. We'll finally have a proper cuddle, what do you say?"

Eyes still closed you nuzzled into his cold palm even more. Astarion took it as a yes. A big mistake on his part.

☆

You were slipping in and out of consciousness. Pain pounded in your head and if that wasn't enough the whole world kept on spinning and spinning. You heard voices. Something cold on your forhead. It felt nice. Comforting. You whined a bit when the cool object left. However you didn't have the energy to chase it and return the good feeling. Something shuffled in the background. Some fabrics. You couldn't care less, you just turned on your side, ignroing the uncomfortable feeling of your sweaty shirt clinging to your back.

The hem of the shirt moved up. Someone was pulling it off of you. Panicked you opened your eyes, unable to make your vision focused and clear. All you could see was a shirtless male body, much bigger than yours, hovering above you. Two blurry limbs pulling your shirt over your head. Something came back to you, a distant memory. One you naively thought has left your brain for good. Tears welled up in your eyes and you weakly tried to push the fabric down to cover yourself again but the stranger was stronger.

"No, please no," you whispered, unable to make any louder sound out of the weakness.

"Relax, I know you don't want to but Shadowheart-"

"No," you said a bit louder. You couldn't remember what or who was Shadowheart, or whose voice was speaking to you. The only thing on your mind was escape. It was only after the man has fully taken off your shirt when you gained enough strength to scream. "Robert stop it!"

Your leg flew up in a weak attempt to kick but he caught it. "What?"

When you realized your old trick won't work again you wriggled your ankle from his grasp and curled into the smallest ball you could. Your eyes stang with hot tears, body shaking from both the temperature and the fear. Trembling you waited. Waited for him to do something, anything. Nothing happened. No rough hands roaming parts of your body you didn't want touched. No further stripping. After a long time your heart finally stopped pounding in your chest, your tears have dried. Your headache has gone too. With a clear vision and even clearer mind you started to remember. You weren't a kid anymore. This wasn't your grandma's cottage. And the man patiently sitting in the corner with his head down was...

"Astarion?"

His head snapped towards yours. "There you are," he put on one of his charming smiles. A fake one as you've learned over the months. "For a second I thought you've been overcome by the worm already," he let out a chuckle. A high pitched one. The one he uses to mask his true feelings.

Your hand brushed your dry cracked lips and he understood. Cold water streamed down your throat, spreading the relieving coolness all over your chest. Once you've finished the glass Astarion put it beside you, tucked couple of blankets over your half naked bidy and moved to the corner again, as far away from you as possible. You grabbed his sleeve. "Stay."

"I can't."

"I'm sorry."

"What?" His eyes met yours, confusion swimming in his blood red irises. "Darling you have it a bit twisted. I should be the one apologizing," he took your hand in his and forced your fingers to stop clutching his clothes. It was still flaming hot. Not even the cold water has helped...

"No, I- hmm," you sighed and looked away.

Astarion sat down and studied you. For the first time he appreciated his skill of reading people in order to please them. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Your lips formed a thin line, eyes began to water.

Astarion raised his hands up in a panic. "Or not. Forget I ever said anything. Let's just wait until the rest returns. Until then we could play some nice games. Everyone loves those! Alright, I spy with my eye something that is blue. Guess what?"

His usual bravado was back. Not a hint about the concerned vulnerable Astarion that peeked out a second ago. You wanted that Astarion. No, you needed him. Out of all people he is the only one that could understand.

"Astarion."

"But darling, I'm not blue," he chuckled and attempted to give you the warmest eyes possible. "Try again."

"No, I-I want to tell you. What happened to me. Maybe I'll feel better afterwards?" You looked up at him, pleading with your eyes. Begging the soft Astarion to come to you.

He did. His over exaggarated smile fell into a sympathetic one as he proped up his chin on his hands. "Alright. I'm all ears."

You nodded. Suddenly you had no idea how to even begin. Where to begin?

He noticed your struggle. "It's alright, take your time."

"I just don't know where to begin..."

"From the start. That usually works," he playfully nudged you to lighten up the mood.

You rolled your eyes but with a soft smile. Alright. You've carried it inside for long enough.

"When I was a child my parents had to go on business trips a lot. They usually dropped me at my grandmother's house. She had a small cottage in the mountains. No neighbours, no kids, no friends. I hated going there," you turned on your side, facing him as memories from your childhood filled your mind. The long journey to her cottage. The cakes she always baked just for you, to get your energy back after such a trip. The smell of the cottage filled your nose; blueberry pie, old wood, moss. How you used to love that smell. It was the only good thing about that lonely place.

"But, once in a while my cousin visited."

"Robert," Astarion whispered more to himself than to you. As he slowly started putting the pieces of this puzzle together he realized how horribly scared you must've been few minutes ago.

You continued. "He was quite older than me. I loved him. He was the big brother I always wanted. We stole cookies together, he taught me how to climb a tree. He played with me lots and lots," you smiled during remembering of the nice parts. Then the ugly chapter of the story came. Your mouth fell into a straight line, your eyes lost all shine. "One day we begged grandma to make us a pie with forest fruit. She promised to fill the biggest basket she owned with berries and make us the best pie we've ever eaten. Then she closed the door and my cousin suggested we play a new game."

Your arms curcled around your shoulders. Subconsciously pulling yourself into a smalle curled ball again. "I didn't know the rules. He never explained them. But then he took of his shirt. And wanted to take mine off too. I tried to fight him off but he pinned me to the ground. That bastard ripped apart my favourite dress."

Astarion opened his mouth, ready to pull you back into present, to stop you from reliving that horrible moment.

"But," you said, "he was always clumsy with his belt. Always wanted to have a dagger tied to it. I kicked it and it ripped his stomach. Left quite the wound."

That....wasn't what Astarion expected. "My, you were feisty even in your childhood," he purred.

You chuckled. "Not really. I was aiming for the crotch but my legs were too short," Astarion chuckled and the shine returned to your face again. "My grandma came back before he could bleed out. She saved him. When she asked what's happened he said we were just playing. Then he left and I haven't seen him for ten years. When we met again he never even mentioned it, as if it never happened. He never told anyone. Neither did I. And neither will you."

Astarion nodded. "Cross my heart and hope to- uh. I promise."

"Thanks," you rolled on your back again. "Actually now that I've said it out loud, it doesn't sound that bad, you know? I mean, he didn't do anything to me, but I actually drew blood. If anything, he should be the traumatized one, not me."

You couldn't see it but Astarion's face flipped between multiple expressions. Shock, confusion, anger, and finally sympathy. "Let me stop you right there darling. First of all, don't ever dismiss it because "nothing happened". Something has happened and you have every right to feel what you do. Second of all, even though he's your family, in my humblest opinion he deserved to bleed out right then and there for scarring you. And third of all," he carefully took your hand and you sighed at the contact with something cool, "I'm always here for you. Just as you were always there for me. Don't close yourself from me. I know the feeling and trust me, it's better to let it out. Like you've taught me."

You squeezed his hand, grateful for his words. You did feel better, mentally. But physically you were ready to die.

"Astarion, could you do something, please?"

"Anything my love."

You bit your lower lip nervously and stared at your joined hands. "Could you cuddle with me? Shirt off and all that. Just like you wanted before I..."

His eyes grew concerned. "Are you sure?"

You nodded. Slowly you took the blanket off of you and propped yourself up on your elbows. You were sick of lying down all the time.

Astarion reached out to steady your frame as you slowly came to sit on his lap, straddling it. You hugged his cold torso and sighed in pure pleasure. This is exactly what your overheated body needed. You nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck and clung to him like koala. To your dissapointment Astarion's hand remained respectfully on the waistband of your pants.

"Hug me back. Please," you whispered into his pale skin.

Reluctantly his arms circled you, carefully as if you could break if he held you too tight. After seeing your reactions his hands started to draw circles on your back, spreading the coolness all over it.

The two of you have been together, joined body and soul, multiple times. Even in a position like this with no pants as bariers at all. But this...this hug. It was by far the most intimate you've ever been with him.

He held you like that for hours. Even when his legs have long fallen asleep he didn't want to end this just yet. Out of all the times he has had creatures of all shapes and sexes ride him and cling to him just like you were now, what you did was different. Pleasant. For the first time he truly felt needed, in the most innocent way possible.

After your vertigo came back you wanted to lay down again but Astarion coukdn't let the feeling end yet. So there you were now, chest to chest, your arms hilding his torso tightly against yours, your hot cheek resting against a place where Astarion's heart would be beating out of pure joy if he was still alive. It only took couple of strokes on your back and you were gone, off to the dreamlands. Astarion would've followed you if it wasn't for the ruckus outside the tent.

"Tav, we're back!" Gale ripped apart the closed flaps on the tent.

"And we have a medicine for you! It took a while of persuasion but at last we have a potion for you that will pull you right back onto your feet," Shadowheart said proudly as she held up a vial with thick purple liquid.

"Shush you foold," Astarion pressed his index finger to his lips. His other hand came up to cover the little bit of your sideboob that was peeking out at the world. Respectfully tho, no touching at all. Just hovering above it.

Gale, Shadowheart and Karlach stared at the spectacle before them.

"What? I finally got to use my cold bloodedness for good," Astarion said proudly. "See how I'm becoming a goody two shoes like the rest of you? I'll be concidered a hero in no time!"

Ignoring him Shadowheart crouched down and felt your forhead with the back of her hand. Than your cheeks. "I hate to admit it, but you cured her," she stood up, "no fever at all."

"It could be temporary though," Gale pointed out, "as soon as Astarion stops...hugging her, her temperature will shoot right back up."

"All the more reason for me to keep holding her. An excelent observation wizard."

Gale frowned but said nothing. He did walk into his own trap there after all.

Karlach tapped the corc closing the vial. "What do we do with this then? Since Fangs has cured her on his own."

"We could store it for worse times. Or we could get high as hells from it. I did read it has different effects on healthy bodies," Shadowheart thought out loud while examining the potion in her hand.

"I wote for number two," Gale's arm shot up.

"I wholeheartedly concur," Karlach joined.

"Me too," Astarion held up his hand as well.

Shadowheart kissed her teeth. "No fun times for you. You need to be in full consciousness in case your patient gets worse."

Disapointed, Astarion let his hand fall back between your shoulderblades. "I guess that's a small price for having her body blissfully cliging to mine," he smirked at Gale.

"Get your fill while you can," the wizard said and took the vial from Shadowheart's hand. "When she's healthy again no right mind would want to cling to a piece of ice."

With that he stomped out.

"Thankfully, none of us are in their right mind in any time of the day," he smiled and like a cat that got its treat nuzzled his head ontop of yours.

"I do have one request," Shaodheart said before she could exit the tent. "Get out of my tent. I finally want to sleep."

"Oh, how lovely of you to say that, kicking out a caretaker with his patient out into the wilderness," carefully he stood up, his hands supporting your legs wrapped around his waist, "with no weapon whatsoever," he walked passed her out of her tent, "how much cruel can you be."

"Even more if you don't stop whining."

Astarion couldn't care less to shoot her a sarcastic remark back. You stirred in his embrace. He stopped in his tracks, ready to pull you back into present in case you slipped again. None of that was needed. You only snaked your arms around his neck and sighed his name into his neck, your breath tickling the two bite scars on the side of it.

And while Lae'zel and Wyll that have just returned from their own mission dealt with their three companions getting higher than the ceiling, back in your tent Astarion has been getting hits of his very own drug. You.

And he has already become way too addicted.

[treasureyourfire]

~ Get a little rest ~

Dear Souls! A little later compared to my plans, but I brought you my New Year's Pick a Pile readings. The readings are timeless, find the post in the beginning months of any year (*or even in any month of a year), believe that you need it right then, of course only if it resonates with you. (*If you read it in June, for example, look at the past year going back to June of the previous year. ^^) I've noticed that the piles carry similar messages from certain areas of life, so you may be drawn to more than one image, and that's perfectly fine. Read them all, so if there is a message for you in more than one reading. Wish you the best, and take care! ^^ Arisa

Reminder:

* These are not gender-specific readings, they are about energies. * These are collective, timeless readings for entertaintment. * I am not a professional reader and readings that I do are a part of my learning process. * The tarot can provide guidance, but you manage your own life according to your free will. Feel free to keep what resonates, and let go of what doesn’t.~ * (English is not my mother language, sorry for the mistakes.)

Illustrations belongs to Kristin Askland

~ 1 ~

You can take a breath: What burden have you left behind in the past year: Five of Swords, Reversed Death, Reversed Ten of Wands, Temperance, Six of Wands, Magician, Page of Cups

Just thinking about the image I felt an unusual, intense resistance. At first I didn't know if the feeling was my own - because I was in a bad mood - or not, but then, when I started the reading, I understood that I felt your energy, dear Soul. You suffered such a loss, defeat or betrayal that you hid from the world with deep wounds. Maybe even from yourself. You wrapped yourself up like the kitty in your chosen picture. You were afraid to let change into your life, you closed yourself off, whether it was a change in external circumstances or your own internal transformation and development. Whether you wanted to survive or forget, I feel that you tried to remedy it by taking on more and more burdens the weight of which brought you to the brink of burnout, or maybe this collapse actually occurred. Maybe you buried yourself in work or a personal project, but it could also be that you didn't take on such a many burden of your own free will, but that your circumstances turned out that way. You couldn't grow under those so many burdens. Maybe you have been subconsciously or even intentionally hindering and sabotaging your own growth. A deep, personal transformation awaited you, which of course is often difficult, uncomfortable, and can be very much outside of our comfort zone, when we have to reshape our belief systems, our way of seeing things, and our attitude towards our situation and ourselves. Maybe this was meant to happen for you to some extent, a victory over the ego/subconscious. After many tense internal struggles, the time of ascension has finally arrived, the time to create a healthy balance in your life again. You've got room to develop again, and you've stepped onto the path that you can use to create harmony and peace. It's like you got your Mojo back. The fighting spirit has awakened in you. You embraced yourself, broadened your horizons, and now with more self-esteem, zest for life, more vitality, you switched to creation mode. Now you value yourself more, you have seen the treasures within you, and you are actively working on realizing your dreams to create the life around you that you really want. You have everything for it. The meeting your deeper self opened the door to self-love and new, happier beginnings.

You can rest: What helps you relax/gain strength the most? Page of Wands, Sun, Nine of Swords, Eight of Swords, Knight of Swords

Inspiration (making a mood board at the beginning of the year for example), creativity, dreaming, forms of self-expression. Art can be the best way to relax you right now, which can ease your anxiety. Returning to an old hobby, passion, any activity that filled you with joy when you were younger, or maybe starting something new that helps express yourself and self-realization. For some of you, a trip might mean relaxation, recharging in a sunny, warm place. There may still be holding back beliefs in your head, but don't let these ups and downs discourage you, you have time to heal. Fears, doubts, self-doubt cloud our vision, we get confused. Maybe you need to clear up these confusing thoughts and feelings. If you put them into form, it can be easier to examine and arrange them in yourself. In addition to art, because of the sword cards, I think communication can also help, either verbally or in writing, or if you examine yourself and your thoughts more consciously from a scientific perspective. Whether it's a person close to you, a support community, or a professional, it can help to share with someone what's weigh down your heart.  It is difficult for me to interpret the Knight of Swords in this context. This card usually encourages action and change, not rest. In this situation, it can mean that it is necessary to take the lead, break out of a situation, overcome ourselves, shake ourselves out of the waves of negative thoughts, face our fears and examine their origin. Behind these fears, our true self is waiting to break out. We often think things about ourselves that are not true at all, we don't see the reality, the truth, among the false assumptions. It is difficult to abstract and look at ourselves and our situation with external eyes.

*Note: There is a Youtuber named Thomas Sanders whose videos I have seen in the past and some of those at the time helped me see some things in a slightly different light. Through himself, in an entertaining guise, he reveals to us (I could say that he explains with logic as the Knight of Swords) the workings of a person's personality and mind. Maybe someone else who chose this picture needs this information so I wanted to mention it.

Plan your path: What will you need to the start? / What should you take with you on your path? Hermit Item in your bag: - The Hermit's Lantern

Introspection, stillness. Maybe you need to withdraw from the eyes of the world for a while in order to find your own inner light, the wisdom, the knowledge with which you can go towards a truer, more authentic life. The Hermit searches for answers in himself, he is developing and growing quietly, he only needs himself, he does not let the outside world influence him. The meditative retreat, the practice of your spirituality can become an important tool for you in the period ahead of you, you can find the path that leads to the fulfillment of your wish(es). Let your own inner star, which you keep in your lantern be your compass.

Encouraging/Inspiring message from your spirit guides: Queen of Cups, Reversed Queen of Pentacles

You've reached shore, you're over it. You may have been attracted to the second picture as well, and that reading may partly resonate with you, because it may convey a similar message about your emotional world and the need to take care of the health of your body and soul. It is important to ground yourself, to research grounding techniques and activities, to connect with nature, and to balance your elements, equalizing the proportions against the energies of many previous sword cards with air (mental) element. Observing walks in nature, yoga, craft hobbies, claying, making ceramics, gardening, spending time with animals, practicing living in the present, connecting with Mother Earth. Manage and care your emotions and feelings consciously and don't forget to nourish and care for your body. Pay attention to your health. Nutritious meals, quality rests. A lot of anxiety also weakens the physical body, listen to its signals about what it needs. Take care of your heart, water your garden to gain strength and have the energy to create, to shape your life around you as an artist.

~ 2 ~

You can take a breath: What burden have you left behind in the past year: Queen of Cups

The inner turbulent sea has calmed down, your emotions have become clear, uncertainty has been replaced by stability, clear vision, awareness, and understanding. You already look at your own emotional world with different eyes, you have better understanding about how it works. You have studied yourself, the triple relationship of your thoughts-feelings-actions, as a result of which you have gained a deeper understanding and self-knowledge of yourself, and in the future you will try to handle different life situations and challenges more efficiently and consciously. You take care of yourself and your needs, you have become more understanding and compassionate to yourself and you are already showing more love to yourself.  By the time you reached shore, you realized your own values, you found your inner voice, now you can finally breathe again.

You can rest: What helps you relax/gain strength the most? Queen of Pentacles

Treat yourself like a queen/king. It's time to relax and enjoy earthly pleasures. Taking care of yourself, giving attention to yourself can help you now the most to rest after the toils of the past year. In moderation, but get your favorite comfort foods or pay attention to your health and eat foods that nourish your body, if that resonates with you more. Any form of grounding and connection with nature can also embalm your soul. It can be any activity that relax you, in which you find joy, e.g.; creative projects, baking and cooking, claying, making ceramics, gardening, yoga. Maybe pamper yourself for a few days with a wellness or spa program, beautification, if you prefer this type of relaxation.  Have a pampering intimate time with your partner or with yourself if you are single. Quality rest is important, enjoy, don't rush it. In all of its being (regardless of gender) I feel feminine (including possibly parental) energies from this pile, during this period it may be important for someone to connect to this gentle, caring quality, whether they practice it only towards themselves or by spending time with their partner, children, family.

Plan your path: What will you need to the start? / What should you take with you on your path? Reversed Empress Item in your bag: - Selflove potion

As soon as the Queen of Pentacles appeared, it was as if I felt the presence and essence of the Empress together with her. Strongly feminine, caring energies surround this pile. However, when this card arrived in reverse, I was a bit confused. Even with the Queen of Pentacles, I felt that self-care was emphasized, the Empress has similar energies in a basic situation, I don't think you should take that away from yourself after you managed to recharge. Indeed. Perhaps this is exactly the point, that you continue to pay attention to yourself and take care of yourself first before you do it with others, maintain your inner balance. (Of course, if you are a parent, priorities and balance are usually are rearranged, but don't forget about yourself, your own well-being, and ask for help if you need it and have the opportunity.) Perhaps it also refers to your relationship with others, to pay attention to how much of yourself you give to others and not to shred yourself to please everyone at all costs. It is a wonderful quality of you to care about others and be always there when they need you, but unfortunately this can have the shadowside of giving too much of yourself, consuming all your energy until you have no more to yourself. You love being a mother hen. ^^ Maybe you have taken on tasks for which others should have taken responsibility and solved them. This burnt-out or possibly frustrated state also hinders the development of your creative energies. It may be necessary to set those certain boundaries and not allow others to cross them, taking advantage of you, your altruism and generosity. I feel the main message is to love yourself enough to take care of your own needs first and not get stuck in harmful, destructive emotional addictions.

Encouraging/Inspiring message from your spirit guides: Star, Reversed Three of Cups

For me, the message got around with this advice. Dreams, healing, wishes, goals. Your spirit guides ask you to move forward towards your dream goals. You have heard a higher calling, you have taken the first steps, and your life is slowly starting to take the shape of your desires. Healing, growth, following our life path sometimes go hand in hand with loneliness, but don't let that discourage you. You should let go of fake/superficial friends/relationships, who don't treat you well and don't support you on your way, let them go. "It's better to be alone than in bad company." If they don't represent your ideas of what kind of relationships you need in your life, they hold you back in your development and they are toxic or disrespectful, breaking these relationships can be the beginning of healing and can give you space to later find true partners who really deserve and reciprocate your care and sincere love.

~ 3 ~

You can take a breath: What burden have you left behind in the past year: Reversed Ten of Cups

Relationship problems, toxic relationships/environment, people with low emotional intelligence, hopelessness, lack of love and happiness. Although you were physically surrounded by others, you felt lonely among them. You have been searching your place, where you belong. One-sidedness, overgiving may have characterized your relationships, which did not make you happy or nourish you, but now you have managed to break the chains. Maybe you have been wandering alone for a while looking for your soul tribe, where you will be supported and finally feel loved.

You can rest: What helps you relax/gain strength the most? Reversed Three of Pentacles, Eight of Wands, Magician

Sometimes it's good to withdraw from social life for a longer or shorter period of time (perhaps we pause our studies or don't immediately go back to school after finishing our courrently last course) to be alone, to clear our minds and figure out who we are and what we really long for without competing with others. For this, there are people who travel far away, or even move to a new place, where they can heal, and later, when they feel ready, in the new community there they can start with a clean sheet. Of course, this does not mean that traveling is the solution for everyone who chose this picture, but it is certain that moving forward is necessary, keeping your future in front of your eyes. Let your plans to spear, focus on your own individual goals for faster development and progress. All tools are at your disposal to bring your plans to life. Perhaps you received a message or an offer in the recent past period or you will receive it recently, which may hold out a new opportunity to you or inspire you, reminding you that it is time to get moving and put your ideas into shape. If you need it, unleash your creativity, live your passions and hobbies that you have suppressed or put aside for a while. The period of creation may begin.

Plan your path: What will you need to the start? / What should you take with you on your path? Wheel of Fortune, King of Cups, Three of Cups, Two of Cups, Knight of Cups, Sun, Seven of Cups, Eight of Swords Items in your bag: - A feather of a cedar waxwing - A seashell with the sound of your deep inner sea

Let the feather of this pretty bird reminds you on your journey that you were and are able to rise above difficulties and to keep your good heart. Your karma turns for the better. Your empathetic, giving nature is treasure. You are a good friend who enjoys spending time with others and sharing your emotional and earthly abundance with them, but it is important to maintain a balance. Reciprocity. Make sure that in your relationships you get back as much as you give. Stay aware, see who is worth letting close to you, who can become a true friend/ally, and who is only beautified by filters. Don't let others dim your light, don't give in to deceptions and manipulations. From now on, be the protagonist in your life, shine at its center, like the Sun in our solar system. Maybe the Knight of Cups can also points to make room for romance in your life, let these feelings in if that's what you want. If there is no one who would arouse your interest, be your own suitor, romanticize yourself, your life. Be open to opportunities for more emotional growth and development. Trust your emotional maturity. If a situation still confuses you and shakes your self-confidence, think about what is just a mind game or a delusion, either on your part or on the part of others. Examine your options, which one is the rational decision/available choice for you. Of course, it is often difficult for us to rise above our traumas and fears. Check how real your barriers are. If you don't see the truth at first, you are unsure of what is good for you, which is your path, try to calm down, raise the seashell to your ear and listen to what your inner voice wispering to you.

Encouraging/Inspiring message from your spirit guides: Reversed Ten of Swords, Reversed Hanged Man, Reversed Four of Cups, Reversed Six of Wands, Reversed Ace of Swords, High Priestess, Devil

You are over the biggest challenge, a difficult period has come to an end for you. You have awakened to awareness, and this enlightenment brought a healthier view of yourself and your situation, and initiated you on a more energetically balanced path. Your spirit guides say those who hurt you were not worthy of being part of your life anymore, their betrayal brought you a blessing in the long run, even if you don't feel that way at this moment. Your spirit guides want to help you, but for that you have to do your side too, take action and look for opportunities where you can develop and grow. Clear your thoughts. They ask you to learn from the challenges of the past and turn your experiences to your advantage, rebuilding your self-confidence and regaining your fighting spirit, and think things extensively before making important decisions. Maybe you practiced communicating with them in the past, but you've been holding back for a while? (Re)open the channel between you and them and ask for their help or advice for clarity, if you have doubts, if something is blocking your intuition. The Devil card can reveal addictions that chain you down, hinder your development (even spiritually), prevent you from fulfilling yourself and truly live your life. It may be important to question your beliefs and gain a deeper understanding of your spiritual path. This requires introspection and questioning of existing beliefs. It encourages you to dig deeper into your spiritual questions to seek a deeper and more nuanced understanding of your spiritual journey. Start trusting your inner wisdom and intuition. Stay aware of your negative thoughts, temptations, and fears that can derail you. In terms of your relationships, it can be important too to examine your attachments. What pattern do you cling to, what is toxic, what wasn't healthy in your previous relationships, be it in family, friendship, or romantic relationship.

[lsunstreakerl]

my prompt has been extremely fulfilled but im just putting this out in the universe… maxiel or lestappen, with a Significant age difference where max is inexperienced, like a shy blushing type. and oop, daddy kink unlocked…. 🙂‍↕️

obviously, again, this has gotten out of hand. in the name of the father, the son, and the holy coldplums, I gift to you all the reason for my relative radio silence: maxiel corporate boytoy.

I've got. hmmmm. about 8k of it written at the moment, so I'm posting the first few chunks for you all to read. here is 2.5k of exposition, alternating POV's. HI: kink prompt. obviously. explicit content ahead.

pairings: daniel ricciardo/max verstappen

relevant heads up: power imbalance, age difference, work environment that would make an HR department cry. dirtbag daniel (somewhat), inexperienced max.

Daniel doesn't really keep up with the interns- supposedly he's been observing them all year, narrowing them down the best ones, the perfect fit for the company.

In reality, he pays them no mind and lets the supervisors tell him who they want. It's a good system, and it hasn't failed him yet.

He's walking with Blake down across the loft portion of the fourth floor- he can see down across the glass at some of the other levels, and it still blows his mind sometimes that everyone he can see works for him.

Blake is nattering on about the next fiscal year's budget- Daniel will pay attention to it when the paperwork is on his desk, and not a moment sooner. His eyes are bouncing around, landing on familiar and unfamiliar faces, older and experienced supervisors training the young blood.

His attention snags. There's someone across the walkway, half leaning over a desk and gesturing at something on a monitor. Daniel is more distracted at the way his slacks fit, hugging his thighs and narrowing into a waist that Daniel immediately wants to take a bite out of.

He's not sure when they started hiring pornstars.

"Blake- who is that? Over by Scarlett's desk."

Blake looks confused for a moment before his face lights up in recognition.

"Oh! That's Max- he's one of the interns for the year, and he's really good on the numbers end- kid's got a real solid brain in him. I was actually hoping to talk to you about him- he's my favorite intern I've ever had in the department, and I think he'd be really good full time."

Daniel thinks he'd be really good bent over the desk. All the way.

"Yeah, for sure man. Well bring him on board."

"Uh, Dan?"

Daniel's still walking, but he's pivoted his course, making his way over to Scarlett's desk. She and Max have their heads together- probably trying to actually do Daniel's company some good, honest work.

Daniel doesn't care.

There's more details as Daniel gets closer- Max has blonde hair, just on the side of too short around the back of his head, slightly longer at the top. It's gelled, which- they can fix that. If the women in the company don't break him of the habit, Daniel will just change the dress code.

His shoulders are broad under the white button up, which really adds to the waist thing he's got going on- Daniel wants to wrap his hands around him, see if it feels as perfect as it looks.

He's definitely not complaining about his back view though- Max has a cute ass. Daniel wants to put teeth marks in it.

Scarlett notices them approaching, straightening up.

"Daniel! Blake! This is Max, our finance and accounting intern for the year. Max, this is Daniel- you should know who he is, and Blake- you should also know who he is."

Max spins around, and Daniel wants to hire him on the spot. He's got a unique face- European of some kind, probably. He also has a perfect set of DSL's.

Max smiles, eyes scrunching up into little crescents. There's a freckle on his lip.

"Hello! Mr. Friend, it is of course nice to meet you again. It is nice to meet you as well, Mr. Ricciardo."

Oh, he has a lisp. They're definitely keeping him.

"Just Blake is fine, Max. Dan over here prefers his first name too- everything else is too stuffy. We're not that kind of workplace."

Daniel reaches out to shake Max's hand- he has long fingers, blunt squared off nails. No jewelry, and most importantly- no ring.

He flashes Max his best smile, and the kid goes a bit red, cheeks flushing as his eyes dart away for a moment.

Bingo. Point for Daniel.

Daniel likes the way he blushes, wonders how deep it can get, how far it can go.

"So Max- how do ya like working for the company?"

Daniel keeps his voice light, but his eyes are locked on Max. To his credit, Max doesn't look away again, holds his gaze as he starts talking.

"It is very nice! The teamwork is helpful, and everyone has been kind."

He talks with his hands, which reminds Daniel of the Italian side of his family- although with the accent, Max has got to be some kind of Northern European.

"Glad to hear it, Maxy."

Ding ding! Another point for Daniel.

Max goes red, stuttering over his words for a moment. Daniel drinks it in, the way Max is completely derailed, just at the nickname. He's cute.

Daniel gives him another smile as he starts walking away again- and then a lightning quick wink, just to see the way Max blinks, like a deer in headlights.

Blake lets them get out of earshot before he starts complaining.

"Dan, mate- do not fuck my intern, please. I want him to stick around."

Daniel's grinning, hands in his pockets. This day is going great.

"Relax, Blake. I'm not going to fuck your intern."

Blake eyes him suspiciously.

"Really? Because those are kind of your textbook steps on the way to getting laid."

Daniel whistles, thinking about the rest of the day. He'll cater lunch to the finance department, as a little treat. Make up some shit about good budgeting.

"I'm going to fuck my employee. There's a difference."

Blake stops in his tracks for a moment.

"Dan. You cannot seriously tell me you're going to poach one of the brightest minds to come through my department to get your dick wet man, come on."

Daniel shrugs.

"I'll let you give him some busywork- not too much though, I'll be keeping him occupied."

Blake rolls his eyes.

"Busy on his knees, maybe."

Daniel snaps his fingers, shooting him finger guns. This is why he likes Blake- he gets him.

"Exactly! I'm buying your department lunch, what do you guys like?"

"Oh sweet- there's this Greek place a couple blocks over-"

------

None of the other interns even stood a chance- Max is unofficially hired four months before the end of the internship period.

It doesn't look as biased as Daniel had wondered- Max really does stand out from the other interns in terms of the quality of his work, and he gets along well with the team.

It would be a shame Daniel isn't actually interested in that from him, if not for the way that he's just so cute. Daniel's a bit hedonistic, believes in having fun, and Max definitely looks like fun.

He's gone ahead and let Blake handle telling Max about his responsibilities shift- he's got some bullshit analytics job Daniel hadn't even known they had. The important thing is that it requires him to visit Daniel often. He normally hates being interrupted, but this is one he won't mind, not if it means getting to tease Max in the relative privacy of his office.

Now he just has to wait.

------

Max carefully flicks through his printed report. He's nervous- everyone has said Daniel is nice, but he also has a famous hatred for paperwork, and Max is about to dump some on his desk. He'd seemed friendly enough in the few moments he'd talked to Max, even if Max had thoroughly embarrassed himself, stumbling over his words and losing his train of thought.

He knows he's checked for typos a million times, but this final check is the most important. The new responsibilities on Max's plate aren't quite what he was doing before, but he's up for the challenge.

He checks the last page, satisfied, before tugging at the end of his shirt sleeves, hopes he looks presentable enough to be going to the top floor. He's never really gone higher than six- certainly has never had a need to go to eight, where Daniel's office is.

The elevator ride is quick, and Max is on the eighth floor sooner than he'd like.

He passes Blake's office on his way to Daniel's, who gives him a weird little half salute- odd, but most CFO's are.

Daniel's door is closed. Max had really been hoping it would be open- having to knock is stressing him out. He's not sure if Daniel is in a meeting, or has guests, or anything.

Surely his report can't be this important. Technically, his report should be able to go to Blake, but- that's none of Max's business.

He breathes out slow before he raises his fist and knocks, knuckles rapping firmly against the door.

There's a moment of silence during which Max assumes he's about to be fired- before he's even officially hired on, which would surely be some kind of office record.

"Come in."

Daniel's voice is clear, and Max pushes the door open, slips inside. Daniel is leaned back in his chair, one ankle crossed over his other knee. His suit jacket is open, and the first few buttons of his shirt are undone, showcasing his neck- long golden skin, the kind of tan Max could never manage.

"Hey, Maxy. Whatcha got for me?"

Max wills his fingers not to shake as he steps forward, shoes quiet in the plush flooring of Daniel's rug.

"I have- from the last quarter, the missing earnings report."

Daniel's eyes are... not on Max's face. He hopes he hasn't somehow spilled something on himself.

"Yeah?"

Max nods.

Daniel moves his mouse, minimizes his monitor screens before moving a stack of binders off of the side of his desk.

"Sit, tell me about it."

Max blinks, confused. There's no chair across from Daniel's desk- and he doesn't think he's being asked to sit on the floor.

"Sit..?"

Daniel nods at the space he's cleared on the desk, and Max's heart jumps into his throat- it feels inappropriate somehow, but Daniel is saying it's okay, so-

He's not quite tall enough, has to do a little hop braced on his hand to get up there, and one of Daniel's hands is hovering near his waist- maybe in case he falls.

Max clears his throat, tries to ignore the heat in his face.

"So, the materials department, and their quarterly budget-"

------

Daniel is very pleased with himself. Sure, Blake looks annoyed every time he has to bring his own chair with him to talk to Daniel, but it's a small price to pay for what Daniel gets in return.

He's been carefully inching the clear space on the desk closer to him- Max is so delightfully nervous about sitting on his desk, even two weeks after he'd made him do it the first time.

Daniel is taking things slow with him- slower than he normally would, but that's because he's been accused of playing with his food.

He can't help it- Max is too cute. The way he's just slightly too short, has to do a little hop, the way he squeezes his thighs together to try not to take up space- Daniel wants to take a bite out of him.

He's being patient.

It's especially delicate today- the space Daniel has cleared, the only available space on the desk- it's practically right in front of Daniel. He has his chair scooted back a bit, so that Max won't feel like he's directly in his lap, but- he might as well be.

He's looking forward to it, and if he's lucky Max will really go pink. Surely he notices when he's bright red, but he always powers through anyways.

Blake walks into his office, doesn't bother knocking- everyone else knows Daniel doesn't care for it, but he likes when Max does it.

He sighs, leaning his hip against the desk.

"Would you just fuck him already, please? He's a phenomenal worker Dan, I'd like to actually take advantage of that."

Daniel smiles at him.

"What, you don't want to sit on my desk and tell me that?"

Blake rolls his eyes, and he has the expression Daniel knows means he's begging for divine patience.

"You're toying with him, Dan."

Daniel shrugs, twisting a pen between his fingers, spinning it like a drumstick.

"Yeah babe, that's the point. He's cute like that- perfect little toy, I kind of want to wrap him in a bow. But I'm being patient, Blake, I thought you wanted me to work on that?"

Blake snorts, snatching the pen from Daniel's fingers.

"I meant that in terms of company growth and you know it. But I'll keep the ribbon thing in mind for the office Christmas party, how's that?"

"You do love me!"

------

Max straightens his stack of papers. He's got another report ready, and he's splashed cold water on his face, a reminder that Daniel is his boss- his boss boss, the CEO. Just because he's terribly attractive doesn't mean Max gets to drool over him.

Not to mention- he's so busy there's almost never space on the desk, so Max is probably just a passing blip in his day, barely noticeable.

The elevator dings as the doors slide open, and Max gives Blake a small wave as he passes by his office door. He's not sure what's endeared him to Blake, but the CFO treats him somewhat fondly, in a way that's almost demeaning. Max can't figure it out.

Blake waves back anyways, and then Max is knocking on Daniel's door again.

A beat of silence, and then Daniel is calling him in, but he has a finger pressed to his lips when Max slips inside, and Max freezes. There's voices from one of Daniel's monitors, and Max moves back towards the door, only for Daniel to snap his fingers at him.

Max looks back over and Daniel gestures at his desk, moving his mouse for a moment.

"C'mere, it's fine- I'm almost done."

There's not- Max looks for his usual space by the corner, but it's messy again, the only space is along the edge right in the middle, directly in front of Daniel.

Surely Daniel doesn't mean...

Daniel quirks an eyebrow and Max shoves the doubt down, carefully hopping up onto the desk. Daniel's camera doesn't look like it's on, thankfully, but he's afraid to even breathe as they all exchange their goodbyes.

Daniel chimes in with his own, and then he's leaning forward, chest between Max's knees as he reaches past him to fiddle with the speakers, one palm pressing on Max's thigh to support himself.

Max feels the heat of his palm like a brand. He's frozen still- his face has to be bright red, there's no way it isn't. He fights not to squeeze his thighs together, ignores the warmth starting to pool in his gut.

Daniel just wants to talk about quarter reports.

More like listen to Max talk about quarter reports, but the point remains the same.

Daniel gives Max's thigh a little pat as he leans back, grinning at him.

"Sorry about that babe, meeting went long. What do you have for me?"

Max swallows, tries to pull himself back together.

"So I noticed in the fiscal budget for 2016 a few years ago..."

[uniquethingtastemaker]

Hi Clementine! I found your Jade fic because Sol reblogged it and adytshrgeutrdjghvkguftyfdhgfd)tfhgvjgv!!!!! 💗💗💗💗💗💗 Oh my gosh!! It was just absolutely perfect and I am in love with your writing now!!! 💙💙💙💙💙 Jade is already one of my favorite Twisted Wonderland characters and for you to write something so amazing - like I can’t even right now. This is perfect, you are amazing, and I love you so much for writing such an incredible story with Jade and posting it on here. Thank you so much!

Ahhhhh!! I'm screaming! Thank you for all the compliments! I always love specific ones lol

I looooove Sol too. She's amazing. I've been in her dms talking and discussing ideas. She's helped me a lot

I'm so glad you like my writing! This fanfic for Jade was really fun. I wasn't expecting it to become so good either, but here we are. I love to write stuff in canon, so expect to see more of that

Because you left so much love in my inbox, I'll disclose what I've been working on recently. It brings me joy when I give people some teasers lol... I also have no idea who your fav characters are, so i have no idea if this will interest you. Disclaimer: this is all WIPs, so things are subjected to change lol

I've been writing the "Overblot Slap -- Vil x Reader." That one is going to be a hit. Many people liked my theory if you just slapped Vil, he probably wouldn't overblot, so I'm making it into a fanfic. It will probably end up being 12k too if not a little more. It goes from Vil's "overblot prevention" to marriage, like Jade's

I have it all lined out. However, I'm still talking to @solxamber about Vil's characterization in terms of the man learning emotional processing. I feel like that would be really hard for him because it's not he usually does. It's hard to break habits, but Vil is nothing if not determined.

Like the Jade x Reader fanfic, it has a good variety of scenes and feelings. This one is more fluff, feel good, and wholesome. Unfortunately, no spice scene... so far at least. It doesn't seem necessary. However, there are some huge comedy elements. The Reader is bold as always and occassionally sassy.

I will disclose a little tiny, tiny teaser to get people hyped:

It's a wild move to stomp up to an almost overblotting Vil, slap him, and then say, "Yeah, you're ugly. You've been acting ugly for awhile now. You almost committed murder because of your stupid ego and inferiority complex. Not everything's about you. You don't get to decide you've lost when you haven't even performed. You're shirking your responsibilities as the team leader."

I read that and kinda lose my mind because what a power move. Again, Reader is bold and so done lol

It's so nice to see Vil so happy in this too. The progression is endearing to watch

We got a Rook x Observant Reader. I'm still playing around with it. I'm not sure how their relationship will play out. I have the first meeting and then Reader semi-catching Rook spying on them. It's more like "oh, i'll investigate where I think he was and check for anything that would indicate he was here." Then they realize that might be intimidating or threatening to someone who wants to stay hidden, so they just kinda apologize to air, knowing Rook is somewhere in the area lol

However, it's unclear where I go after that. I know that Vil's going to a problem. It's Chapter 5. What do you expect?

I'd like to write something with Azul (the man was so funny in the Jade x Reader). I'm not 100% how that will look. I have an idea that might turn into a series. Idk if I'm going to fully commit. Basically take characters realizing their sentient and they're kinda in a game. They kinda get one of those isekai systems where it's like "don't let the Reader know you're sentient and you can earn points." So they get to know Reader that way. Then maybe they're about to die and so Azul pulls them into Twisted Wonderland. That's really the only way I can think of a romance happening with Azul.

As someone so guarded and assuming everyone has ulterior motives, I feel like if Azul would be hard to get to. If didn't have the security of like "oh this person doesn't know i can hear them. Therefore, they will just say their true feelings about me because they don't have a reason not to," then it would be a lot harder

This concept would also be fun for an Idia x Reader. The whole "oh my god, i'm in a game" moment is great. He make so many fun anime trope references and whatnot. He's also so sassy and sarcastic. I haven't written for him before but this seems hilarious to me. I can envision it now.

Technically, I think all the overblot students could have a concept like this. Maybe everyone honestly.

This was also inspired by my reaction to Octavinelle revealing Jamil as the mastermind behind the chaos or whatever. I remember screaming in outrage when Jamil hypnotized Azul. Then the cheer that went up after the twist happened was so loud. So I thought it would be funny if Azul could hear the Reader during that section. He doesn't have anyone like that in game, so I thought I would give it to him

[charkoal]

Hi! I've read some of your Arcane posts and I was curious to ask what do you think/how do you interpret Vi rejoining the enforcers after the breakup? I haven't read anyone doing an actual analysis on it, most people complain that she's "washed" or that the writers hate her, which doesn't feel like doing a deep dive into her character at all. Thank! Have a lovely day.

Hi! I'll preface by saying I'm not a league player so while I know general lore, most of this will be my personal take and headcanons to fit what I know of where Vi and Caitlyn up in the game.

Vi as a character has always been driven by her loved ones and her need to protect. It's both her greatest strength and her fatal flaw. And I think initially this may be what causes her to re-enter a system she has always stood against. Caitlyn doesn't ask Vi to put the badge on again, would never ask that of her. In fact, I don't think Caitlyn herself wants to go back to the enforcers at first, what with all the guilt from her time as the Commander. She doesn't trust herself to hold that power, and even if she did, she would make sure Vi is okay with her joining before doing anything. And she wouldn't ask Vi in the first place because she'd never want to put Vi in that position, so she would never go back even if she wanted to. I think it's imperative that Vi approaches Caitlyn about it, decides for herself that this is something she wants to do. That's the only way either of them goes back.

Caitlyn is probably talking about some document or other that's made its way onto her desk amongst the numerous piles of papers, detailing how the council is trying to decide what to do with the enforcers. She isn't in the council, but she is still heavily involved in the relief efforts for both Piltover and Zaun. She mentions reading the council's proposed reforms, how she's weary to trust anyone to execute the overhaul properly, and how she thinks they might be better off abolishing the enforcers as a whole and rebuilding from the ground up.

And Vi just knows. Knows that whoever the council picks will never measure up. Knows that she can't stand to watch another generation of kids grow up in fear of those who are supposed to protect them. Knows that she doesn't trust anyone else with this but Caitlyn.

Caitlyn, and maybe herself.

She tells Caitlyn as much. And Caitlyn hesitates, says she shouldn't hold that kind of power again. Refuses to cause any more hurt than she already has, wonders how Vi can still place her trust in her after everything, especially with this.

And Vi just takes Caitlyn's face in her hands and tells her she trusts her because she knows her. Promises she won't do it alone this time, promises "together" and—

And well, Caitlyn has never been able to say no to Vi.

Neither of them are naive enough to think it will be a quick or easy process. Caitlyn is there to make the enforcers better. Vi is there to keep them from getting worse.

Caitlyn creates new policies, roots out corruption, sets the example as sheriff. Vi ensures that that example is followed. She's boots on the ground, leading the enforcers with an iron fist and greeting Zaunites with a gentle heart. Setting her own example even if she doesn't realize it.

Vi couldn't care less about the enforcers. She cares about Caitlyn and she cares about Zaun. Wearing the badge lets her keep other enforcers in check without being framed as an instigator and arrested immediately. She can keep a watchful eye, ensure that at least while she's around, the enforcers won't abuse their power in the name of the law. It might seem small or trivial, one person against dozens, but I don't think Vi has ever been an aerial view kind of person. She can't just trust that the enforcers are getting better, even if there are less incident reports and less arrests being made. She has to witness the change herself, has to look into the face of each and every person she encounters while wearing the badge and see to it that they are not mistreated. She needs them to see a friendly face. And even if some call her a traitor, a deserter, she takes it all in stride. If the price she pays for keeping an enforcer's baton from striking innocent flesh is petty names and the mocking lilt of "lapdog," then she'll shoulder that title gladly.

She wants better for the children of Zaun, better than what she had. That's always been the core of her character, to give to others what she never got. It's even vocalized by her in the first act of season one. She doesn't want kids to grow up without parents, taken by the very people who are supposed to protect. She doesn't want them to feel like they have no one to turn to, no one on their side. She doesn't want them to feel lesser. She wants them to see her and know that as long as she's there, no one will hurt them. And maybe, in the future, it won't just be her and Caitlyn they can go to. Maybe the number of friendly faces can grow.

With Caitlyn spearheading change at the top level, I think Vi believes one day they can achieve that. But it takes a long time for water to trickle from a river to the ocean, and so while they wait for that day to come, Vi will be there to make sure the well doesn't dry up.

That's at least my take on it, I hope you enjoyed my thoughts. Have a good one!

[lucius-i-ran]

Nico had higher chances than anybody else to follow Luke and they were all so damn lucky he didn't

This one is going to be a long one y'all; I could name so many reasons why Nico might have sided with Luke it's not even funny.

1. first and foremost, Nico learns about the injustice of the demigod world at a dreadfully young age. His sister dies in a quest, learing that not only gods but also heroes are unreliable since he placed trust in one and it was broken. All of that while being 10, do you know how impressionable you are at that age? And Percy was so foolish not to search for him harder because if Luke had found Nico in that state, it would have been the fall of society as we know it.

2. about that: Nico hates Percy, with all his might in fact; and who is the no.1 enemy for Luke's? Percy. This sounds kinda silly but I really don't think we should underestimate the power that a shared enemy has. I know it's mentioned in the books but I really don't think it's discussed enough how lucky the whole WORLD was that Luke didn't find out about the common feud and Nico's powerful heritage or he would have had him on his side in a matter of minutes.

3. Hades mistreats him as soon as he is aware of his presence. I'm 100% convinced that the scene where he belittles him in front of Percy in tlo is not the only time his father made this kind of comments. And even if that wasn't the case, this just means Hades let his 11 year old grieving kid run around with a vengeful and manipulative ghost, completely ignoring him and his wellbeing. And if being literally bullied and neglected by your father isn't enough, he gets mistreated by his peers. Even after tbol, everyone is wary of Nico and basically the whole campa avoids him; everyone has prejudices against him just because of his heritage. Now tell me that is not just revenge fuel.

4. Nico's support system sucks buttcheeks. He literally has nobody to rely on, no one to talk to that isn't dead, no one to vent and give him reassurance or advice (actual, good advice). He was a child!! a 10 year old that suddenly found himself without a family, without a home, without a friend. And Luke, because of his manipulative tactics and because I believe he actually wants to "house" the disappointed demigods, would have had Nico in a heartbeat!!

5. Nico lost his mother to Zeus himself in an attempt on his and his sister's life (as I've said before). This would already have been reason no.1 for anybody else to join Luke, but if that wasn't enough imagine how pissed Nico was when he found that Zeus, after attempting to his life and drastically changing it forever (for the worst) had children, well past the moment when the big three vowed. Nico is a better person than me bcs I would have been like "yk what? y'all deal with this mess by yourselves, I'm going to hang out with my helldog and this corpse I found"

6. Let's not forget!! Nico is a child of Hades!! His fatal flaw is holding grudges and I'm kinda pissed that Rick didn't make the most out of this part of the character to give us some moral conflict. Because of this characteristic mixed with all of the reasons above, I'm 100% convinced that if Luke had proposed Nico to join him when he was at a ever so slightly lower mental point, Nico would have joined, no second thoughts.

In conclusion, everyone should've kept two eyes open when sleeping, after the titan's curse.

[moongothic]

Look I just had to get this out of my system man

I keep on thinking about what kind of theoretical hoops Crocodad would have to jump through to happen in canon and I figured being able to actually visualize the known timeline would help

And that's what this post is about. We have a visual of the timeline. Now let us think about it a whole lot.

Minor notes about the timeline graph; Luffy's birthday is on May 5th and Croc's is on September 5th, so both would get a +1 to their ages by the end of this year in the timeline. On this note, if I am not mistaken, the year Luffy was born Crocodile would've been 27 at the time of his birth and would then turn 28 a few months later. But this is assuming Crocodile is already, at this moment, 46 years old (as opposed to if he was only turning 46 this year in which case he would actually be 45 at this moment, which would further mean he would've been 26 at the time of Luffy's birth and would've turned 27. It's slightly hard to tell what the case is exactly since we don't really get those exact timestamps during the actual story, but I think he's supposed to be 46 turning 47, and that's the assumption this post is written with). (Further sidenote, according the Vivre Card Databooks (appearently), the Strawhats got to Whiskey Peak in February and by late March had obtained Thousand Sunny. Thing is that Luffy was implied to have left on his adventure around his 17th birthday, which would mean that 8-9 months would've passed between Luffy setting out and arriving at Whiskey Peak, and he would've been a few months away from turning 18 already. Which, like, is plausible, but I'm personally willing to ignore this trivia information, not gonna fucking lie)

Anyways, to recap the timeline

We don't know

When Crocodile set out to become a pirate; since he was present at Roger's execution I think the implication would be that he would've set out soon after that, at age 22, but it's entirely possible he might've already been a no-name pirate before that or he could've set out a few years after the execution

When he met Ivankov and if their meeting was like a one-and-done thing and that they never saw each other again until Impel Down, or if that's just when they first got to know each other. (In Iva's own words (in Japanese), they knew Crocodile "during the era when he was still considdered a rookie")

When he got humbled by Whitebeard; it was "soon after" he became a Shichibukai (in Oda's words), but we can't tell if that was like 2 days or 10 months after becoming a Shichibukai

What we do know is that

Crocodile made a name for himself fast "much like Luffy" (in Oda's words); you could interpret that as him causing just a ton of chaos within like a year of entering the Grand Line

He rose to fame and became a Shichibukai in the first half of his 20's (in Oda's words), so before he turned 25?

He supposedly "calmed down" / "went quiet" (again, in Oda's words) for an unknown period of time

By the time he was 30 he was appearing on the news for his heroics; we don't know when he started appearing on the news, just that by this point he was appearing on the news

So I believe the implication is that Crocodile set out on his adventure between the ages of 21-24. If you wanted to push the Crocodad angle, you might want to push it to that 24 (since his Rookie Adventure happened so fast), which would also be around the time of the Revolutionary Army's founding. And while it is entirely plausible Crocodile could've had his ass kicked by Whitebeard VERY soon after his promotion, or it could've been around the time he was like 25-26, if you really wanted to push it for the Crocodad angle. And indeed, we don't know how Crocodile and Iva-chan knew each other. The implication I think is that he transitioned before he rose to fame as a rookie, but he could've just befriended Iva-chan at the time and gotten more well acquainted with the Revolutionaries after his ass kicking and transitioned later. It would just push the "knew him in the era he was considdered a rookie" to an absolute limit, but it would be technically true, just. Kinda pushing it.

And indeed, the Problem Point; Crocodile would've transitioned at age 27 after having Luffy, already a Shichibukai, a public-ish figure.

So if you wanted Crocodad to be canon, either

A) Crocodile being trans isn't a secret, it's something else that Iva-chan tried to blackmail him with B) Crocodile being trans is a secret, so how the fuck did he keep it if he transitioned at 27

If A); Indeed, if there was a scandal about a Shichibukai suddenly transitioning, it would've been like 17-19 years ago. Arguably that would not be something worth bringing up by anyone anymore considdering he had spent at least the past 14 years (pre-timeskip) being a hero to the masses, followed by his warcrimes. Like, it'd be old news. Which would just leave us wondering what the hell the "weakness" Iva-chan mentions really was about (a child, maybe? Or a threat of detransitioning him? Something else?)

If B); Although he was clearly a menace as a rookie as he got himself a relatively massive bounty relatively fast and became a Shichibukai at a young-ish age, we don't know how many bounties he went through before he was offered the position and how he appeared on the news at the time. Like if he went through 2-6 bounty updates before becoming a Shichibukai and appeared in the news A TON it'd feel unlikely he'd be able to keep transitioning later a secret. But if he only had like 1-2 bounties in a short span of time without being photographed too much, it'd definitely feel more plausible. Especially if his OG bounty photos were either shitty sketches (like Sanji's OG poster) or like otherwise poor photos that didn't show his face/features too well. This could also be helped if pre-T (and pre-pregnancy hormones)!Crocodile was kind of androgynous (like Cavendish) and people confused him for a man to begin with On top of this, if Crocodile lost his left hand and got his scar from Whitebeard, if he just went "missing" and then came back transitioned 2-4 years later, he could maybe argue that he was like. A late bloomer. And had hit the gym after Whitebeard kicked his ass. Like yeah he had changed a lot but it's not like there's other Sand Sand Fruit users around claiming to be Crocodile. And it is worth reminding that Iva-chan ability to change people's bio-sex isn't super well known in-universe. So even if people saw him on the news and were like "wait wasn't Crocodile a chick", without knowledge of Iva's abilities people could've been like "no way, surely not, that's not possible". And although the Government maybe could've found it suspicious if they knew about Iva's abilities (which they might've, as Ivankov was a Revolutionary, and their Warlord interacting with a Revolutionary would be sus), as long as Crocodile played nice (which he did, during his Heroic Era) they might've just let it go? (Also if Crocodile was rich at the time he probably could've bribed Morgans to make sure whatever news they published about him didn't ever question his gender or anything)

So all of this to say,

The Most Likely and Most Viable Timeline for Crocodad to be canon would be, approximately;

24-25 Becomes a Shichibukai, gets his ass kicked

25-27 Enters his Quiet Era, Romances Dragon

27-28 Luffy is born, transitions, back to Shichibukai'ing

Of course, this is not an absolute timeline, it's just the one that seems the most viable to me. 'Cause even this timeline is really pushing what Oda and Iva have told us about Crocodile, both the "first half of his 20's" (as opposited to mid 20's), and the "when he was considdered a rookie".

It's pushing it. But it's kind of plausible. And I can't imagine how else it could work in canon.

I do find it interesting though how Crocodile's "quiet era" does overlap nicely with when Luffy was born. Like we don't know how long that era lasted, for all we know Crocodile could've started to get Alabasta like a year after getting his ass kicked by Whitebeard. But it's interesting! And interesting coincidence!

Another interesting note is that 17 is an... interesting number. Like Oda's first one-shot, WANTED! was published when Oda was 17 and that in some ways marks the begining to his adventure as a comic artist. Similarly, Luffy set out on his adventure at the age of 17. A lot of people have been speculating if the God Valley Incident is what caused Dragon to leave the Marines because he would've been 17 at the time. And... It's not quite the same, but if Crocodile transitioned at 27 (as in, started a 'new life', a 'new adventure' as a man at 27)... IDK it'd be an interesting coincidence

Sitenote Re:Missing Kuja Empress

19 years ago, the year Luffy was born, Hancock and her sisters were kidnapped off of the Kuja Pirate's ship when the previous Empress was still the head of the crew

15 years ago the Boa sisters escape slavery and return to Amazon Lily, the status of the former Empress is unknown

13 years ago Hancock becomes the new Empress, the former Empress is presumably dead by this point (as she is said to have died from Love Sickness)

Point being; I reaaally doubt Crocodile is the missing Empress. Like if the former Empress had also been a Shichibukai and had transitioned and was still around, there's no fucking way people wouldn't know about that, right. Like surely they wouldn't say she had died specifically of Love Sickness, right. Like it's not impossible but surely not

[jacksintention]

I'm thinking again on the fact that so often comments, criticism and readings on Jack dwell a lot on how he is barely human/a person/doesn't have a personality at the point of the story and, while I somewhat understand these points, I find them so lacking. I find them... ableist? I'm always doubtful to use the word here because I'm not sure if it's applied in this kind (mental health) of context, but something like that. And I find them extremely simplistic.

However, honestly, a big part of the reason for these readings being so popular is that the manga itself words it that way. But that's one of the problems I find in the manga. When I say P.andora Hear.ts is very good but unfortunately it is very manga-like at times, besides the 2000s homojokes and the like, I'm usually thinking about things like this. I feel like often characters and situations that are (potentially) very intricate instead of getting insightful deep overviews often get screwed by the writing itself, which falls into very manga tropes a lot in a bad way (not that every manga has to fall into them, or that every manga trope has to be bad or written badly).

I don't know... For instance, I'd argue R.askolnikov's capacity for love in Cr.ime and Punishmen.t is debatable, but it's never treated as if it made him less of a person, a human being or made him not have a personality. I'd say not even Svidrigailo.v, who is as much a Bad Guy™ as a character can be, gets that treatment by the writing. I'd say that even him or Mikol.ka are written as fully fleshed human beings with their intricate internal lives and feelings. Svidrig.ailov's last scene with D.unya is fascinating for both characters and spins the whole dynamic and makes you question the entire narrative and veracity of not only those two characters, but brings to mind several other conversations among different characters and throws light (and doubt!) on the main plot between R.askolnikov and Porf.iry.

In similar situations, Jack's humanity, personhood and personality are debated, doubted and even full on accepted as vanished. No one reads Crim.e and Punishmen.t and comes to the same conclusions about Raskolni.kov, Svidrig.ailov, Sony.a or Razu.mikhin. The writing doesn't allow it. The writing doesn't allow you to forget that humanity is diverse and multifaceted, that it can be sad and cruel and loving and monstrous, even all at the same time, or that a person may struggle with feeling at all; and one is still a person.

[problematicsashawaybright]

finally getting my life together and feeling Things (more context in the tags because I started yapping)

[absinthemindedly]

//

[icewindandboringhorror]

Well! I started remodeling the house sooo long ago (original post of it back in 2018), then got distracted and forgot it in the closet for a long time, ignored it on and off, etc... Then, finally finished the house in 2022. THEN, I forgot about the pictures I took of it in 2022, and am now posting them in 2024.. A good example of how the timeline of my side craft projects usually go lol

But, at least I do have the photos now, so... finally sharing them ! 

I just used a blue sheet as a 'sky' and a green sweater with some fake flowers on it to try to look like it was on grass lol...

(more images under the readmore)

The bedroom-

The library/potion room -

The living room area-

Then the little kitchen

The pictures are not very good, but these are the best I could find? I filmed a video of me working on the whole thing (who knows when that will be out..if it took me TWO years just to post the photos lol), so I think while I was taking the pictures, I was thinking “eh, they don’t have to be great, since I’ll show it in more detail in the video :3″, but now I kind of regret not having more actual detail shots or anything.

(sidenote: I'm pretty sure I've posted better pictures of some of the individual rooms before though too? sometime before I had added the finishing touches but when they were basically done and looked almost the same as these. so maybe it's okay that these are kind of bad lol)

I think progress on it also stalled a bit due to the pandemic starting, since like 90% of the stuff in here is random things I found at the bins (giant goodwill donation center where you dig through tubs of various items all thrown together), so once I couldn’t go out to the bins anymore, I lost my method of hunting for new items, and just had to work with whatever scraps I already had or could make myself with very few materials/tools.  The bins is a really large and always crowded place, so it's still not safe for me to go with current community transmission levels lol... who knows when I shall be able to use it to get dirt cheap crafting supplies ever again.. T o T

ANYWAY! It was a fun little project, even though of course it's a little rough around the edges and not exactly as I'd envisioned lol. As usual, I always enjoy the MAKING of things the most, yet then have no idea what to do with the finished project, since the process is what's enjoyable to me.

I think I'm going to take all the glued down furniture out of it and then repaint it, then maybe donate the base house back to the same thrift store I found it at. Like completing some sort of crafting circle of life or something lol

slowly making some progress on the doll house I’m trying to remodel! 

[seamany]

The post that solved it all for me PART 1

NOT MY POST, THIS IS MOBILEBLACKSMITH2535 VIA REDDIT

(It might sound like I'm yelling at you in this paragraph but these are just things I wish someone told me like years ago) Here is where I talk about everything law of assumption that helped me ACTUALLY become a master manifestor. The law of assumption, as I see it, is the law of being. You cannot experience what you are not being. Coming from a person that used to cry myself to sleep every night feeling frustrated, hopeless, and extremely tired of putting all this effort into something and getting absolutely nothing back, this shit is real. Please do not take this post with a grain of salt. Please do not toss my story in with the probably hundreds of other "I have shifted" threads/videos you have witnessed. If you want to shift listen to every word that I say. I can't explain why we have this power I just know that from November of 2020 to July of 2023 I have been working my ass of to get somewhere, anywhere. In between those 3 years I had an on and off behavior towards shifting. I used to force myself to forget about shifting for a few weeks because it hurt too much to think about it. I felt like I won the lottery and I couldn't cash in the money. It was awful and I wouldn't wish that feeling of hopelessness on any other conscious being. Sometimes I would watch shifting tik tok compilation videos on YouTube and get a surge of motivation that would soon die out along with any semblance of dignity and self-esteem I had left. I'm telling you not asking you to see me as a real completely sane person because that is exactly what I am. Even though I'm creative and spiritual (not religious, spiritual), I can't help but see things logically. It's just my nature. I like patterns, formulas, structured systems, explanations, science, etc. I knew the probability of hundreds upon thousands of people describing in detail their experience of shifting couldn't be a phenomenon but a real...thing. I, for some reason, never doubted the possibility of shifting, more my capability to do it. Along my journey I've had my moments of distrust surrounding shifting in itself, and as I rounded onto the 3rd year of attempts I had increasing feelings of dread and anger. I was angry at the world that I live in, feeling dreadful that I couldn't escape it all. Then on one fateful fateful day, specifically July 31rst 2023 at about 8:30 am, I shifted. It was easy and it was effortless. Just as everyone says, but that's not something I'd like to focus on in today's post. I'm not making this post to tell you how simple shifting is or to "let go" (whatever the fuck that means) or to change your mindset. Those things are all useless compared to the thing that just clicked for me on July 31rst 2023 at about 8:30 am. What I am going to tell you is going to be so stupidly straightforward that your mind isn't going to want to believe me at first. You are going to try to make it more complicated than it is, just like you probably did with shifting when you first learned about it. But assure you that you should take what I am about to say at face-value. You don't need to let go, you don't need to change anything about yourself, you don't need to "release blockages", you don't need to reprogram your subconscious mind. You are done. You have your desire already. You are finished and there is nothing left for you to do.

LOOK AT MY PAGE FOR PART TWO

[almadelsur]

💋 The Turmoil One Suffers

summary: In the second installment of The Secrets One Keeps, a relaxing day on the pogue proves to be anything but, with your inner struggles getting the better of you and JJ hot on your tail.

jj maybank x reader, rafe cameron x reader

warnings: some good old angsty pining, very very slight smut if you squint, fem!reader, talks of suffocation ig? plz let me know if I've missed anything.

a/n: SHE'S BACKKKK, so I've decided to completely reformat and re-post this fic with a few tweaks and editing considering I first wrote this like 3 years ago. Also, for those asking, I won't be doing a taglist for this fic bc I'm lazy and technologically deficient.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・

You shouldn’t have been smoking, it made you feel uneasy, paranoid even.

You had found yourself on the pogue in the wake of Pope’s incessant bitching about how you had to make up for ditching them last night. The guilt had made you cave in. As he spoke, all that had flashed through your head was images of Rafe. You on top of Rafe, Rafe with his hands around your neck, the way Rafe’s hair felt between your fingers as you gripped on it when he got messy between your-

“Dude” Sarah’s voice snapped you out of your recurring thoughts.

You turned your head to her as you took a drag of the blunt JJ had rolled, "hmm?"

“I asked if you wanted a beer?”

You checked the time on your phone, 12pm. After enduring 3 hours on this floating nightmare, you decide you're probably deserving of one.

“uh yeah sure.” You took another hit, extending your arm to grab the cold bottle.

You bought the edge of the glass bottle up to your lips and took a swig, letting the liquid wash over your cotton mouth. A swig swiftly turning into a gulp as thirst suddenly became itself known to you. One gulp then turned to two and before you knew it the bottle dried out.

JJ eyed your every move, the feeling that had been bugging him since you got into the Twinkie that morning had now grown into full-blown concern. Your unusual behaviour was deafening with the sounds of alarm bells.

“Thirsty?” He spoke with furrowed brows, prompting Pope to chuckle though no joke had been intended.

Your eyes flickered towards JJ momentarily and instantly you knew what he was  thinking. Anger disguised as adrenaline coursed through you.

“Sarah will you pass me another? Mines empty.” Defiance clear in your tone, causing a thick tension to settle over the boat.

“'s a bit it early to start chugging drinks isn’t it?” JJ speaks up again before Sarah has time to respond.

You scoffed as you turned to him once more, maintaining eye contact as you took a long drag from blunt. As you exhaled the smoke, the thick white cloud blurred his features.

“Sarah” you tried again.

You hear a small sigh as she hands you another bottle.

“Thank you” You took another swig at the bottle, hoping the liquid would force down the concoction of guilt and anger that swirled in your mouth.

“So like am I saying words out loud or is it just in my head?” JJ tried, at this point he just wanted a reaction out of you.

“You asked me to come here.” Your tone was snippy, as another burst of smoke entered your system.

“well my mistake clearly.” He was getting pissed off now, and you couldn’t deny the sick satisfaction it gave you. You knew it was unfair, he hadn’t done anything wrong, you just couldn’t help it.

Pope cleared his throat. “This is a whole lotta tension for such a little boat.” He tried to lighten the mood but his joke fell flat.

As you downed your second beer, you took another drag. “It is isn’t it?” You turned to him.

“Maybe you should have some of this JJ, it’ll help you relax.” You threw the blunt in his direction, letting it fall at his feet.

“What the hell crawled up your ass today?” JJ spat at you, picking up the blunt.

The mixture of alcohol and weed infected your system, your breathing became staggered as you suddenly became hyper aware of the layers clinging onto your body.

You don't answer. Instead choosing to stand up and remove your T-shirt. Rafe returned to your mind as you focused on the image of him mimicking your same actions. Your trousers were next to go. You pushed them down whilst picturing Rafe’s hands running down your legs.

Pope eyed Sarah and JJ who’s gaze were trained on you and your movements.

“Whatcha doing there bud?” Sarah asked watching you strip down to your underwear.

“I’m too hot” was all you said, stepping off the edge of the boat and letting yourself plunge into the cool water below you.

As you became completely submerged, you breathed out all of the air in your irritated lungs. Leaving you empty and heavy as you continued to sink. The muffled noises of the water hit against your head yet all you could hear was your thoughts racing. 

As the need for air increased, the rush of thought slowed. You liked it. The weightlessness of your body, mixed with the numbing of all of your senses was peacefull. A welcome change from the overdrive your body had been running on for the past year. 

You forced yourself to stay down there, pushing your physical boundaries. A split second before completely losing consiousness you emerged again, letting the air penetrate through your system and invade your insides as it worked to reboot your muscles before giving life again to the internal mayhem in your mind again. 

You floated with your head above the surface and your back facing the pogues. You couldn’t find yourself to act remotely interested in what they thought about your little show. 

JJ in turn felt as though he was slowly loosing his head. He felt dumbfounded because it wasn’t just your behaviour that was different, your entire demeanour and vibe was off and he failed to comprehend what could have happened in the span of 12 hours for you to return to him a complete different person. 

Sarah could see the way he looked at you, he was hot on your tail and she panicked trying to divert his calculating eyes from you. “So” she spoke up loud enough so that you could hear and be part of the conversation should you wish to. “Theres a party at my house tonight.”

“Oh really?” JJ answered, evidently uninterested as he continued his stare down with the back of your head. 

“Yeah Ward’s out of town with Rose and y'know Rafe, any opportunity he has to get shitfaced he’ll take it.” Relief washed over her as JJ’s eyes finally unglued from you. 

At the mention of Rafe your ears perked up. 

“Do you guys wanna come?” A devilish grin on her face evident as she spoke. 

“A kook party? We wouldn't be welcome.” Pope answered for the three of you, prompting a scoff from Sarah. 

“It’s my house too, plus I already threatened Rafe to let me invite you guys. I told him I’d snitch on him otherwise.” She shrugged.

“I’m sure he loved that” JJ added, amused at the thought of antagonising the Cameron boy. 

“Well what did he say?” Three pairs of eyes turned to you as you finally spoke up from the water, now facing the boat again. 

JJ couldnt help the face that your question caused him to pull. Why did you suddenly care about what Rafe Cameron had to say? Sarah already said they could go so why did it even matter? 

“He said whatever as long we stay away from him.” Her answer caused Pope and JJ to roll their eyes. It had been somewhat of a lie though. 

Because what Rafe had really said when Sarah had threatened him was, “whatever just stay away from us, and why don't you go ahead and bring that sexy little friend of yours.” 

To which Sarah had replied with, “We wouldn’t want to hang out with you and your classist friends anyway. Also, Kiara’s with JJ, and Y/N wouldn’t even touch you with a 10 foot pole so.” Unkowing of the situation between you and Rafe.

Looking back at it now, Rafe’s coy response of “we’ll see” suddenly made much more sense to her as she shuddered slightly in disgust. 

“Can’t we take a night off? I mean don’t you guys think we’ve been going a little extra hard recently?” Pope tried to reason as you swam back up towards the boat, forcing yourself on board again. 

“I’ll be there.” You interjected as the water ran down your body, soaking the deck of the hms. 

“we all will be.” JJ fired back, a confusing swirl of concern and anger towards your attitude fought for dominance within his head. 

You ignored him once more and lay back on the sodden deck, letting your persistant introspection rest as the blanket that was intoxication comforted you. You looked up at the clouds and the weighlessness returned. Before you knew it, he sounds of Pope and Sarah chatting drifted away with the soft waves that carried the boat. You lost grip on consciousness as the sun lulled you to sleep.

Around half an hour went by before JJ spoke up. “hey" he double checked you were definitely asleep.

He took your silence as confirmation before turning to the other two. “Y'all saw that right?”

“Saw what?” Sarah played dumb even though he she knew exactly what he was referring to.

“the way she was acting” He whisper shouted, confused as to why no one else seemed remotely worried. “It was like she hated us.” He spoke with the tone of a wounded man.

“Yeah… us.” Pope muttered under his breath.

“I think she’s just tired J, she uh- she had a long night.” Sarah stiffled what had been something between a laugh and a groan.

“Nah guys look- I know her, that wasn’t normal.” JJ didn’t ease up.

“We all know her.” Pope jumped on the defensive.

“c’mon dude it’s not just me, somethings obviously wrong”

At this point Sarah wished for anything to distract him, because as much as JJ wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed when it came to academic performance, he most certainly wasn’t dumb. And he definitely knew what he was talking about when it came to you.

“Maybe It’s.. you know..” Pope waggled his eyebrows. “Her time…” he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck “of- of the month?”

“Nice Pope.” Sarah rolled her eyes.

“’s not that. Guys look listen to me somethings definitely wr-“ the ringing of his phone interrupted JJ mid sentence. Saved by the bell. Literally.

JJ grabbed his phone and his frown eased up slightly as he looked at the caller ID.

“Hey baby” his tone made it seem like whatever he had been worrying about softened it’s grip on him at the sound of her voice. “Uh huh, okay give us ten and we’ll be there.” He hung up the phone and slipped it back into his pocket.

“Kie?” Sarah asked, praying he wouldn’t resume his ramble.

“Yeah she’s finished up at the wreck, wants us to go get her.” And with that the subject was dropped.

—————————————————————————

The late afternoon breeze stroked you awake as you suddenly became aware of the voices around you.

Your eyes fluttered open and you stirred where you lay, your body stiff from the 4 hour positioning against the hard wood of the hms. You slowly sat yourself up and threw your T-shirt back on your body before turning back to glance at the now complete group of pogues. Fuck how long had you been out for.

You let your eyes linger on Kiara and JJ a couple of seconds longer than everybody else. He laughed carelessly pulling her tighter against his side. You groaned out quietly and reached for your phone, typing out that damned name.

To Rafe: Having a party and you didn’t invite me? I’m almost offended.

Almost instantly a reply came through.

Miss me already?

You rolled your eyes as he sent you another.

Figured Sarah would open her big mouth, better see you tonight ;)

“Morning Camper.” John B spoke up. You turned around to face him, every single one of them with their attention on you.

“Hey can you take me home?” You directed at no one in particular.

“You don’t wanna stay and hang out?” Kie asked, she wanted to reach you, connect with you.

“I just want to go home” You were irritated and your head hurt, you were certainly in no mood for any of this.

John B was next to try “C’mon man we haven’t all hung out like this in ag-“

“Fuck just take me home” You lashed out. “please” You added in an attempt to soften the blow.

Silence fell over the pogues as John B lifted himself up and steered the boat towards the direction of your house.

As you hopped down you muttered a joyless goodbye to everyone.

“Wait! I’ll walk you in.” JJ peeled himself away from Kiara and followed behind you, slightly speeding as you hadn’t bothered to stop and wait.

He walked beside you, waiting until you were both out of hearing distance from the others.

“why are you angry?” He spoke up.

“I’m not angry.” You tried to walk faster but a calloused hand stopped you.

“Stop. Just stop.” You heard the desperation in his voice as he turned you around to face him. “can you just talk to me? Look whatever I did to piss you off I’m sorry. You just- you were fine yesterday and now all of a sudden you hate us-“

“Stop JJ” You just wanted it to stop. The consequence of your actions pounding down on you with every word that left his mouth.

“Stop what?!” He couldn’t help but shake you.

“Talking! Stop talking!” You shoved him forcefully off of you.

“The hell's wrong with you?! dude I’m worried about you. Today’s just been so weird.” His fingers shoved themselves through his hair, a nervous habit of his.

The familiar lump in your throat began to form at the sight of your best friend.

“I’m tired J.” It wasn’t a lie, you really were fucking exhausted. You were tired of lying, tired of watching the boy you loved love someone else, tired of trudging through your life heartbroken.

“You’re lying.” He shook his head like a disappointed parent. “Why you lyin' to me?”

“JJ. I’m. Tired.” You screwed your eyes shut as your breathing began to quicken “I’m not lying I’m just-“

“Okay alright.”  His embrace cut you off. “I believe you.” He hated seeing you upset. Having known you practically his whole life, he also knew that nothing ever got resolved when you got like this, so he dropped the subject.

You almost broke down then and there, using everything you had in you to move your arms around him, hugging him back.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, the meaning behind your words far greater than he could realise.

“Hey it’s okay, we all have off days right?” He let go of you and gave you a small smile.

“Right.” Your remained court and quiet. 

“I’ll see you tonight. Go rest for a bit okay?”

You nodded and began to walk away before his voice stopped you once more.

“Yo” You turned to see that he had shoved his hands in pockets. “You’d tell me if something was wrong right?” He hated that he even had to ask.

“Mhm, course” You lied straight through your teeth before turning and walking away from him uninterrupted. You knew that as soon and as your bedroom door closed behind you, you’d sink down into a pit of despair and loathing.

Whilst the resolution had given him a little comfort, something deep inside told him that this wasn’t the end of it.

Perhaps he should have left things alone, maybe then things wouldn’t have escalated to extent that they were about to.

So as he watched you walk away, JJ stood there unknowing of what was to come. Unknowing of the way things were about to change between you forever.

[thebreakfastgenie]

This is going to get me screencapped and ridiculed by leftblr but at this point I don't care.

The way people talk about Ruth Bader Ginsburg is misogynistic. This post is not about the merits of her decision to remain in her seat. I've discussed that before and I'm happy to go through it again with anyone who is genuinely interested in the complexities of that situation, but for the sake of this post, I am not arguing that it's unreasonable to believe, with the benefit of hindsight, that the country would be a in a better position today if Ginsburg had retired in 2012. The issue I want to address is how people talk about it.

People who blame Ginsburg for the current state of the Supreme Court tend to throw around words like greedy, selfish, and ambitious, echoing a familiar form of misogyny. Ambition is only bad when women demonstrate it, and women in politics are regularly punished for ambition. Even more disturbingly, people tend to blame not just Ginsburg, but the women and girls who looked up to her. I've seen the "Notorious RBG" nickname derided as a cult of personality, when the reality is that Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a trailblazer and a role model to a lot of women and girls. I've seen leftists try to hide behind valid criticisms of some of Ginsburg's positions (and it should, but doesn't, go without saying that you can see someone as a role model without believing they are correct about every issue all the time) but you barely have to scratch the surface to see that the real complaint is that they think women who admire her are cringe. I don't know if people understand how significant she was; she was only the second woman on the Supreme Court and the first, Sandra Day O'Connor, was a conservative Reagan appointee. Even so, Justice O'Connor spoke about the significance of Justice Ginsburg joining her and reality that women faced in their position being more apparent when she could see it happening to someone else. It's the same old anti-feminist story of dismissing women and their desires.

This particular case rankles me because it's underscored by the complete silence about Anthony Kennedy. Ruth Bader Ginsburg made a judgment call about her health that didn't work out--and barely; she died four months before Trump left office. Anthony Kennedy, a supposed moderate justice who claimed to not want Roe v Wade to be overturned, retired in 2018, knowing full well Trump would replace him with someone who would overturn Roe v Wade. It was Kennedy's replacement, not Ginsburg's, that doomed Roe. The decision was 6-3. If Ginsburg had lived four more months, or retired in 2012 and been replaced with an Obama appointee, the Dobbs v Jackson decision would have been 5-4 in the same direction. Anthony Kennedy was replaced with Brett Kavanaugh, a white man who sobbed crocodile tears when confronted with credible allegations of sexual assault and ultimately faced no consequences. Anthony Kennedy let all of this happen and slunk off into his cushy retirement. Where is the anger for him? He's alive! Being angrier at Ginsburg than Kennedy makes absolutely no sense. There is no logic to explain it, only misogyny.

It doesn't escape my notice that the anger at Ginsburg goes hand-in-hand with blaming women for their own suffering as a result of the Dobbs decision and with blaming Hillary Clinton for the 2016 election, while making any excuse for not voting for her or deriding her for months. It's emblematic of a political system that does not care about women and despises women trying to speak up and make our issues known.

[butchvampireheimerdinger]

can we get butchfemme sevika/reader hcs please :3

GAWD yes. Lord, I've been waiting for this day lessgo

ButchFemme Sevika/Reader Headcanons

⚢ In typical butch fashion, her love language is acts of service

⚢ Loves to be fawned over ! Like “Omfg babe you’re sooo strong helping me put together furniture” and trust she is melting even though her face is expressionless and immoveable

⚢ She likes when you graze your long nails over her skin for back scratches and its all nice and light and tingly

⚢ She’s not much of a prettyboy (prettybutch…?) so she doesn’t really have a skincare routine but you have an extensive regimen so she memorizes all ur million little bougie products and gets you an extra to keep at ur place so you don’t have to eff up your skincare routine in favor of spontaneous sleepovers

⚢ Yeah she’s not too particular about her grooming in general. She lets you cut her hair even if you’re not super experienced with clippers. She still hypes you up even if you nick her ear when doing up her side shave/undercut.

“Oops! Sorry babe I think I got your ear…”

“Didn’t even feel it. You’re doing great baby keep going.”

⚢ On that note, pet names: For Sevika, its baby alll dayyyyyy ! She calls you baby, my girl, my pretty girl, my woman, etc. And as for what you call her, she always loves a “omg babe” moment. And “settle down there, cowboy” but in like a jesting sorta way. Also: “my butch.”

⚢ Stone top/pillow princess anybody?

⚢ Also: she’s ur cash cow. She loves buying you expensive shit and showing you off and showing off the expensive shit. You breathed in the direction of a particularly nice perfume? Surprise! It’s in your bathroom the following day. Like. It’s a theme. Especially in ur pre-relationship courting era. “Baby anything you want I get for you. Say the word I’ll buy for you the moon, the stars, et cetera, no one can provide for you like I can” blah blah blah

⚢ But you can’t be interrupting her card games tho. She’s like a teenage boy on the xbox with those things. Probs something to be worried about tbh.

⚢ And I’ve written this into a fanfic already, but that bitch wears boyshorts. I was thinking boxers for a while but I think that would be too much bulk over them skinny little plants she wears. I am a Sevika boyshorts TRUTHER

⚢ And she works out. Matter of fact, forget the prettybutch comment because Sevika WORKS OUTTT and I think she has resistance bands. Like she goes to an actual gym but around the house you’ll find her repping with those damn resistance bands to relieve stress or just cause she sees them and remembers.

⚢ And she works out to like. Classical music. Cause she’s a classy mothafuckaaa just absolutely getting ripped and her face is in a scary ass sneer but there's like ode to joy in the background

⚢ You pack her lunch. She gets flamed at work cause her paper bag is covered in lil hearts and stickers and kissy lipstick marks and its filled with sugary baked goods like pink sparkly cupcakes and fruity pastries cause u can’t cook. But by gawd u can bake.

⚢ That being said, she’s the cook in the relationship. Especially when it comes to meat. It’s problematic. Sevika’s version of “girl dinner” is straight up protein. Her typical meal is like. A rotisserie chicken + hard boiled eggs. It made you gasp the first time you saw her pull out one of her meal prep tins and it was just that.

⚢ Oh yeah and she meal preps

⚢ Claims she “doesn’t get sick” because her “immune system is just built different.”

⚢ When she does get sick, she refuses to chill out and let herself be sick and she tries to speedrun her way to health by taking too much vitamin C and then working out and cranking the heat to “sweat it out quicker.”

⚢ She knits to relieve stress

⚢ Sleeps topless and in undies. And a wife pleaser tank if its chilly.

[incorrectbatfam]

In 2024, I ruined everyone's year with this post talking about the batfam's ages if they were living in the same year as us. Well, get ready to have 2025 ruined too.

Depending on how old you see Damian, he could be anywhere from 9 (like in WFA) to 15 (like in the mainline comics). I'm gonna go in the middle and say he's around 12. That means he is a Gen Alpha iPad baby born in 2013, the same year we saw Catching Fire and the Doge puppy.

NOTE: in my previous post, Damian was 10 years old and born in 2014, but I've since amended it since his age is depicted as all over the place. If you want to go with 10-year-old Damian today, he would've been born in 2015, the same year Undertale came out.

If we assume Duke is around 16, then that means he is the youngest Gen Z batfam member born in 2009, the same age as songs like Boom Boom Pow and Party In The USA.

Since Tim will always be 17 against his will, in 2025 it means he would've been born in 2008, the same year Obama was elected and Breaking Bad first aired.

Steph is a little older than Tim, so let's say she's 18. That means she was born in 2007, so along with obvious stuff like the iPhone, she would be as old as Bully Maguire and Rickrolling.

Harper is a little older than Steph but they went to college together at one point, so I'll pin her age at around 21. That means she was born in 2004, when Shrek 2 was the movie of the year.

Cass and Jason were born just months apart and are written to be in their early 20s, and I used 23 in the last post so I'll do that here. That means they were born in 2002, making them the first post-9/11 batkids and the same age as the book Eragon.

Dick and Barbara are both approximately 27, so they would've been born in 1998, the same year Destiny's Child, Coldplay, and System of a Down made their first debuts.

Helena (and I think Bette too, not sure) is a little older than both Dick and Barbara, so I'm gonna put her down as around 28. That makes her the oldest Gen Z batfamily member born in 1997, the same year as the movie Titanic.

Luke is somewhere between Helena and Kate but I can't find any specifics, so I'm going with 30. That means he is the youngest millennial batfam born in 1995, when Internet Explorer and the USB were first released.

Kate is approximately a decade younger than Bruce, making her around 35. In 2025, that means she would've been born in 1990, when Home Alone was released and Yugoslavia began to break up.

Selina's age is a little iffy because different sources give different age gaps between her and Bruce, but she's younger than him and older than Kate, so I'll go with 40. Being born in 1985 means she's currently the same age as celebrities like Bruno Mars and Lana Del Rey.

Bruce is around 45, so being born in 1980 means he is the very last of Gen X and as old as The Empire Strikes Back. It also means he would've been in middle school when Nirvana went mainstream in 1991 with Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Alfred's age is ambiguously old, but I used 75 in my last post. That means he would've been the only Baby Boomer batfam born in 1950, the same year that the TV remote and credit card were invented. He would've enlisted in 1968, at the start of the Troubles.